mikijean (mikijean) wrote,

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Stupid White People and Your Crappy Northern Genes

Thanks so much, Scots-Irish ancestors, for not evolving any more damn melanin. I was feeling pretty good getting to stay away from the dermatologist for two whole weeks, so I almost didn't bring up the little dry skin flap next to my eye that got ripped up a bit while I was taking gauze off the gaping (but getting smaller) head wound.

Me: It's probably just age...
Doctor Movesquick: Noooo, that's precancerous for the bad kind this time. {immediately attacks with the liquid nitrogen canister he keeps in his pocket. The liquid nitrogen is so cold it shocks any possible "is that liquid nitrogen in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me" joke out of me.} That's the kind that becomes lymphoma, so it's SPF 9000 and big hats for you from now on, my dear.
Me: Crap!
DM: You're just really, really white. Ever get sick after being out in the sun?
Me: Well, there was that time in a walkathon I got hives from the sun...
DM: Um, yes. WHITE. And that didn't teach you to stay out of the sun? Stick one arm out in the sun for 15 minutes every once in a while to get some Vitamin D, but other than that--6-inch brim. Now.

I checked my giant sun hat I got for last month's wedding when I got home--3.5 inch brim. How huge is a hat with a 6-inch brim? I'm going to look like the freakin' Queen Mother.
Tags: the cancer

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