Symposia by pouringicons


...on top of the microwave in a grocery store bag with toothpaste and double-A batteries that had not been put away:

--one pork tenderloin, pomegranate and basil-flavored. Three days old, based on timing of last shopping trip.

I am so very, very proud.
Symposia by pouringicons


Whoa--two of my students won a national championship last night, knocking off a four-time defending champion to do so. (Of course, one also got a yellow card and put the team a man down, but given that he's the last person on the planet I would have thought would do so, that just makes everything even funnier.) That's...kinda nifty.
Symposia by pouringicons

Holy Potato Crikies

Christina Hendricks--yes, the Christina Hendricks of Saffron (Firefly), Olivia (Life), and Joan Holloway (Mad Men) fame--and I are from the same town. Granted, I moved a little farther north after being born there, but...given the size of the state, let alone the town, it's pretty surprising. Weird!
did a what by pouringicons

TB or Not TB

I appear to have forgotten that I had an LJ account (I actually did forget about the Facebook page my students set up for me), possibly because I've been getting most of my (non-work) writing jones out on hannasus' brainchild TV Bacon. It's wrong of me to ignore the poor LJ, though, as the Bacon lets us tell the tale of the Pushing Daisies and Battlestar Galactica/Caprica panels bgirlla, tlbelle, and I just went to at the Paley Festival, but it doesn't allow for telling the tale of how every cat bgirlla has ever had enjoys chewing my hair.

So perhaps I should give up working on this stupid grant proposal (go stimulus package yay?) or this stunningly stupid model that is the *third* the same reviewer has demanded and instead celebrate the fact that finding that I don't have tuberculosis was literally the high point of the time since returning from LA. For future reference, it is easier to determine whether you have TB if you remember not to wash off the circle the doctor draws around your injection site.

Also, for the record, having now seen her in person, Tricia Helfer is just unbelievably stunning. In case you had any doubts.
Vote Ringo by ate_a_bug

Funny Way to Run a Harbinger

For a change, we're on the cutting edge around here. We just had a Republican primary (held at the county's expense because the uber-dominant Republicans couldn't come to a decision on their own candidates) in which a 6-term Congressman was bounced. There's been a lot of hoohah in both the local and the national press about how this may be a harbinger of how the country is hungry for change (even if this locale does things differently and goes for change by choosing someone who claims to be even more right-wing than the last right-wing guy).

And I suppose that might be true. But what I know for sure is that the people ringing in that harbinger often didn't really know what was going on. I managed one of the polling locations--because in the reddest county in the reddest state in the union, they apparently couldn't come up with enough Republicans to run a Republican primary--and I'm not quite convinced the electorate is clamoring for change in every aspect. We also had a state treasurer race on the ticket, and a full quarter of the voters we processed asked me to tell them who the incumbent in that race was (answer: he's retiring. That's an open office. Way to know your elected officials. It's possible I didn't say that last part out loud). Some of them may have wanted to vote out the incumbent in their fervent desire for change, but...that is not the impression they gave. Or maybe they just wanted to confirm the Republican bona fides that come with incumbency:

Voter: Maybe you're not allowed to help me choose {M's note: true that}--can you just tell me which of these guys I want--which is the most conservative?
Me: Oh, I am not a Republican.
Voter: Squeak!

The woman literally squeaked. I should have dramatically ripped the bandage off the gaping (but getting smaller!) head wound while being revealed as a non-conservative supervillain. At any rate, maybe I'm overthinking things, but I wonder if we're headed any closer to a harbinger of change than has been true in previous elections. Maybe things are different out from behind the Jell-O Curtain?
based on science by pouringicons

Stupid White People and Your Crappy Northern Genes

Thanks so much, Scots-Irish ancestors, for not evolving any more damn melanin. I was feeling pretty good getting to stay away from the dermatologist for two whole weeks, so I almost didn't bring up the little dry skin flap next to my eye that got ripped up a bit while I was taking gauze off the gaping (but getting smaller) head wound.

Me: It's probably just age...
Doctor Movesquick: Noooo, that's precancerous for the bad kind this time. {immediately attacks with the liquid nitrogen canister he keeps in his pocket. The liquid nitrogen is so cold it shocks any possible "is that liquid nitrogen in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me" joke out of me.} That's the kind that becomes lymphoma, so it's SPF 9000 and big hats for you from now on, my dear.
Me: Crap!
DM: You're just really, really white. Ever get sick after being out in the sun?
Me: Well, there was that time in a walkathon I got hives from the sun...
DM: Um, yes. WHITE. And that didn't teach you to stay out of the sun? Stick one arm out in the sun for 15 minutes every once in a while to get some Vitamin D, but other than that--6-inch brim. Now.

I checked my giant sun hat I got for last month's wedding when I got home--3.5 inch brim. How huge is a hat with a 6-inch brim? I'm going to look like the freakin' Queen Mother.
Wish I could write good by forthegenuine

The Amazing Adventures of Pinto, Horse Detective

During church yesterday, ODaneyBoy introduced me to his newest toy, a plastic pinto horse with whom he is much enamored. He announced plans to get "lots of clothes" for said pinto, including "policeman clothes, so he can be a policeman," fireman clothes, presumably so he can be a fireman, and "a magnifying glass, so he can be a detective. He can solve mysteries!"

And then I realized I would totally watch that show. Back off, television industry--I'm claiming proprietary rights on ODaneyBoy's behalf.

Later--much later--in a church service that seemed interminable, ODaneyBoy was right on the edge of getting himself in a lot of trouble. Since I was as bored as he was, and since ODaneyBoy has recently started to figure out how to put letters together into words in both reading and writing, I decided to write him a note to see if that would keep both of us quiet. The entirety of our correspondence is below:

Hi, Dane. How is your pinto?
(five-minute gap)

This ruined my attempt to keep us quiet as churchmice, as I promptly giggled for three minutes.

What is your pinto's name?

I guess I had that coming.

Is Pinto a boy or a girl? (submitted by ConnieBean)


What does Pinto like to eat?

Spelled correctly. I'm pretty sure we can use that in the show...
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    amused amused
trex goodness by buffyx

The Invisible Woman

The bad, the good, and the ugly from the recent trip East:

The bad:
--being the only person from the setting I shared with the groom invited to the wedding. I suppose that should be flattering, but what it really meant was standing by myself at every portion of the wedding looking shy and miserable (and like someone with a hole in her head).
--literally having two different people turn away from me when I tried to make conversation with them. I don't think they were intentionally being rude--I think I was literally invisible to them.
--being asked by the groom to "say a few words at the wedding" 20 hours before said wedding.
--having the groom's mother ("[Groom] says we've met before." Yes. Yes, we have) say that everyone was speculating trying to figure out who the lone wolf was (although not, I would note, introducing themselves and asking) and finally concluding that I was, and I quote, "that famous wedding crasher woman."
--ShanaP's trainer kicked our asses and yelled at us a little.
--Indiana Jones and the Blah Blah of the Crystal Skull. Not impressed.

The good:
--it really was a lovely, loose wedding, and the wonderful bride and groom seemed ecstatic.
--the beach was tremendous--I don't know if it's because it was early in the season or because we were on more private areas, but it was glorious and clear and nearly deserted. Must live near water!
--confirmation that, after being yelled at by aforementioned trainer, actual poundage was lost through aggressive beach walking.
--eating at a "restaurant" on a pier that advertised mullet, rattlesnake eggs, and blood worms.
--playing a Wii--I'm finally fulfilling my father's dreams of making me an excellent (Wii) golfer.
--best of all, seeing ShanaP's family (her kids are a scream and superadorable) and wandering through North Carolina with her. Must live near ShanaP!

The ugly:
--getting sick the second I got off the plane and thinking I'd blown my nose so much I'd worn off all the skin and created weird scarring. Comedian-dermatologist confirms, however, that it's a cold sore/fever blister. On my nose. To quote him, "welcome to the rest of your life with herpes."

Colleague: Who do you have to be nuzzling up to to get nose herpes?
Me: I don't know! No one would even talk to me!
trex goodness by buffyx

Er...Are You Trying to Imply Something?

An exciting moment at the doctor this morning when he pulled the gauze off the Matrix plug-in in my forehead and, along with it, pulled a scab off my temporal artery, causing me to Dexter/Jackson Pollack right across his pristine white lab coat. (If I would ever get around to posting a real surgery report, you'd know that the initial excision attempt was an alleged bloodletting [I don't think it was that bad] because of this artery, so today was not entirely unexpected.) Which led to the following:

Doctor: Here, I've put a pad right there, you just hold some pressure on it while I set some other stuff up. Yeah, right there, put your finger in...(seizes up like an Edsel engine)

Me: Unfortunately for the Tina Fey movie I'm living in, I happen to be straight, because otherwise your telling me to put my finger in the hole in the dike would have been fuuuuuuunnnyyyyyy.

Doctor: I really was thinking of the little Dutch boy!

Me and Nice Nurse: (uproarious laughter)

Doctor: Words used to mean different things!

I know I am living in an as yet unmade Tina Fey movie because of spin class yesterday. We had just cranked up to a heavy climb out of saddle when the hole in my head and its accomplice, the medicinal bandage, decided to ooze/drain copiously. Although I did manage to whip a wad of Kleenex out of my waistband, I found my glasses earpiece was getting in the way, so before I knew it, I had my glasses in my left hand, which was out on the horn of the handlebars, and my right hand holding a wad of Kleenex up to my drooling forehead, all while peddling up a fake hill. The must-be-fictional approach was confirmed when I went outside after class to find I had a flat tire.

Really, it's a film just waiting for a title.