| Cue Schwarzenegger Voice |
[Apr. 25th, 2008|04:36 pm] |
Almost halfway in between diagnosis and in-office "surgery," I've come to a strange conclusion about the cancer, and that is that calling it cancer doesn't bother me. I know people who have struggled or are struggling with real cancer, and calling this non-threatening annoyance that is basal-cell carcinoma cancer seems embarrassing by contrast. So the idea that there is cancer on my head is surprisingly non-upsetting. Cancer, cancer, cancer, cancer on the head. See? It just doesn't bother me.
The recollection of the dermatologist talking about a tumor, however, gives me the wiggins. Oh, what I would have given, when the doctor said, "Um, no, that's a tumor," to have had the presence of mind to go all Schwarzenegger and reply, "It's not a tooomah!" But the idea of a tumor on my head--regardless of whether it had been really benign or essentially non-threatening as this one is--is just gross. Non-threatening cancer? Fine. A tumor? Grotesque. The damn thing looks no different than it did the day before I knew it was a tumor, but now it seems...oogy.
So I decided last night that it was stupid to wait for the doctor and that I may as well just cut it out myself.
(You should probably stop me when I start talking like this.)
The difficult question, however, was what instrument would work best. Although pinking shears seemed like a nice option because there would be no need for stitching up the edges when I was done, their relative thickness was offputting. Alton Brown recently did an episode of Good Eats that taught me the best way to hold a paring knife, which might work; I also considered a pizza cutter. No unitaskers in this kitchen! Really, it seems like there is probably a best tool for the job, if I could just figure it out.
It's an interesting dilemma, though (the issue with the nomenclature, not the excision tool, the latter of which didn't seem like quite as good an idea in the light of day)--why the issue with "tumor"? Doesn't a rose by any other name get lopped off just as easily? |
|
|
| Comments: |
From: (Anonymous)
2008-04-25 11:45 pm (UTC)
NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! | (Link)
|
Hopefully you DID NOT Cut anything! Let the doctor do the nice clean, complete job. And Mik - cancer is cancer, tumor is tumor. Keep me informed. Life is good and I LOVE hearing about your spinning adventures - ripped bike shorts and all! I watched the spinners at the Y and realized I would never put myself though that!!!!!!!! Keep me laughing; getting stronger day by day. Got a hug from GD last weekend - it's been a while. Time goes by way too fast. When is your trip planned for? Love - Auntie C
If it makes you feel any better, at least you don't have a sixteen pound tumor like that poor girl from Haiti.
N. Scott Momaday says "A word has power in and of itself." There is something inherently icky about the word tumor (and it probably didn't help that the dermotologist dropped it on you!) Cancer is a big scary word until you find out it's the harmless kind. Then you know the word cancer is used only as a category of disease, not a possible death sentence. But no matter how benign it might be, the word tumor...still icky.
I tried to deflate my Gangolion cyst with a sterilized pin.
My mom stopped me.
"So I decided last night that it was stupid to wait for the doctor and that I may as well just cut it out myself."
You are a funny, funny girl. In a sick kind of way. MWAH! | |
![[info]](http://p-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
mikijean's journal
determined